Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users’ updates known as tweets.  There are some funny people on Twitter!  Every once in awhile I like to share some of my favorites.  Remember the oldest post is at the bottom, so read up and enjoy!

doctorlinguistbreast exams on lactating mothers can be hazardous to one’s eyes.5:20 PM May 7th from web

Christina1973Sometimes, getting my hair cut is the only way I can lose any weight!4:13 PM May 7th from web

scanman@DrCris re. world – the default blue globe desktop background on Macs shows the North American continent. Very biased, as usual IMNSHO 1:33 AM May 7th from web in reply to DrCris

karinab71OMG I caught my 10-yr old looking for a book in computer library catalog for “how to fall for girls” Should I get worried?5:19 PM May 6th from web

BakoMomLife seemed easier when I wore “Elmo” or “Princess” panties.8:56 PM May 5th from web

drlori713 yo dropped ball & it rolled into street. 6 yo says to the 3 yo “don’t go into the street until you’re a teenager!”5:00 PM May 3rd from web

drlori71My 13 yo niece is studying the 80′s & has to watch Ferris Bueller & Breakfast Club for hmwrk. 3 cheers for education in the US!10:17 AM May 1st from web

DrLaPookAt dinner tonight, my 90 yr old dad asked “What’s Twitter?” My 17 year old son instantly answered, “It’s Facebook for old people.”8:10 PM Apr 27th from web

iconjohnAccidently showed up to work on my day off, they begged me to stay. Doh!8:17 AM Apr 27th from web

sweenMy wife is asleep so I have no one to roll their eyes at me so I rolled my own eyes at myself and now I can see my brain!10:56 PM Apr 26th from web

KidneyNotesThis time of night, I throw up my hands and @Instapaper the hell out of everything in sight.9:23 PM Apr 26th from web

pyknosisI think the model for this mannequin was in a really cold room.5:46 PM Apr 26th from web

greggscottCDC warns greatest risk of contracting Swine Flu from visiting someone’s MySpace page or re-watching the Susan Boyle video.1:08 PM Apr 26th from web

FunnyNursert @KWScholar “Did you hear about the nurses who were wearing apple pins? When asked why they said, “To keep the doctors away.”12:23 PM Apr 26th from web

EricaRedCornLeft Autumn in the bathtub for 30 seconds while I got her clothes. Good news: she didn’t drown. Bad news: She pooped.9:25 AM Apr 26th from web