Twitter is a free social networking and micro-blogging service that enables its users to send and read other users’ updates known as tweets.  There are some funny people on Twitter!  Every once in awhile I like to share some of my favorites.  Remember the oldest post is at the bottom, so read up and enjoy!

Doctor_VAdopted Twitter hoping it would make me appear young and hip. So far it isn’t workin’9:58 PM May 28th from web

zapposTrying to reduce my email inbox is like trying to lose weight. The number always seems to creep back up to where it was before.7:16 PM May 28th from web

AndreaSantiagoIf you’re bitter when you Twitter, no one will read your Tweets! So be sweeter, a good Re-Tweeter. . . You’ll be needed, and get Re-Tweeted!11:05 PM May 27th from web

drdisaiaWhat is the Cheapest Plastic Surgery? Cut up your Credit Cards.10:45 AM May 27th from web

drlori71Caught my 3 yo washing Lightning McQueen’s tires w/a toothbrush. MY toothbrush.10:19 AM May 27th from web

not_ratchedThe amount of mucus exiting my nose violates the laws of physics. I mean how does it all fit in my head??9:51 AM May 26th from web

adevriesRT @Phocion: “Vacation” is a fancy term for temporarily delaying your mounting workload. LOL8:32 AM May 26th from web

doctorlinguistwith time, one learns to put one’s cereal bowl aside before one sneezes. but one is not to that level of enlightenment yet.8:22 AM May 26th from web

doctorlinguistLady at church: “I have to watch my carbs again.” Me: “Yes, I watch mine as they go in my mouth.” I may be excommunicated.1:09 PM May 24th from web

GiggleMedNow this darn Viagra pen won’t unclick…. it’s been over 4 hours… should I be worried about priaclickism?2:59 PM May 18th from web

drewmgriffin“I marvel that society would pay a surgeon a large sum of money to remove a person’s leg…but nothing to save it!”- George Bernard Shaw6:01 PM May 10th from web

pyknosisOh sure, when my 2yo niece runs around naked and shrieking everyone has a grand old time. When I do this, no one encourages me. At all.5:01 PM May 10th from web

drlori71Told my kids that Mothers day’s the 1 day that mommies can return bad children to the hospital. They’ve been so well behaved today!4:47 PM May 10th from web

robtdvisLooked at a cheap Chinese built motocross bike – 250 CC 4CYL on closeout for $786! My dear wife was not so excited. Ah well1:06 AM May 10th from web